christoph-waltzed:

I remember in year 2 there was a girl who had literally never had a haircut so her hair was ridiculously long [imagine Rapunzel basically] and she always complained about it but her mum wouldn’t let her get  it cut

So one day at recess she put an entire pack of chewed gum in her hair at the exact length she wanted it cut to.

She came in the next day with her hair cut how she wanted it and a smug grin on her face and I knew that that girl was going places. 

(Source: winkingeye-alcoholsuggestion, via attempted-and-failed)

legolast:

my friend just accidentally called our math teacher “honey” and he replied “yes dear”

(via attempted-and-failed)

if you’re gonna make me the third wheel on the sidewalk at least let me stand in front so i can pretend i’m leading my army into battle

(via attempted-and-failed)